There’s this website Future Me where you can write a letter to yourself in the future. Apparently, I did, back in 2014, a few months before meeting my husband. 5 years later, here I am reading it:
“About motherhood, December 11th, 2014
As this is the last entry in my journal this semester, I‘ve decided to get benefit of the writing prompt. „Never say never“ is a very common saying in Lithuania, so I slightly modify what the prompt suggests. If I have a baby I would try to give him or her the best I can. I would breastfeed the baby until he or she is at least one year old, I would not have a job for a while in order to enjoy my motherhood to the fulllest. I would try not to buy plastic toys, I would make dolls or machines myself, I would cook, knit, read fairytales every night before sleep and do all other things cool mothers do. If I have children I would love them very much but not more than my husband. If my husband takes care of children when I‘m out to, let‘s say, yoga class, when I come back home I would first kiss my husband and only then the babies. Even though I‘m still very young, I‘ve already learnt a lesson that men are more infantile than children in many cases, managing to be jealous even to their own children.
I wish I will read this entry when I‘m actually a wife and a mother and check how close reality is to what I imagine now. “
How insightful my past thoughts can be to me today. Wouldn’t agree with some things that I wrote, but for the most part, I’m that cool mom that I wanted to be (although I don’t always feel that way). But there’s just SO MANY more things to motherhood than I realized back then. There’s so much learning coming from it in all of life’s areas. The Birth was the biggest transformation in my life and it is continuing with mothering. The neuroscientists have discovered that the brain has the most intense neuron connection creating period during infancy and teen years. For the men, that’s about it. For women, it happens again when they’re pregnant, but that in itself calls for another article… Go write a letter to your future self, it’s fun!